Ryou, Bakura and Yami Bakura have a talk
by Rnij and Mysterious A
Summary: Sheer insanity along with a God of Darkness, a tomb robber and a group of determined Fan girls are all that is between Ryou and his dwindleing fate. UPDATED A YEAR LATER!
1. it begins

Ryou, Bakura and Yami Bakura have a "Talk"~ By: Rnij Rin Sera

Disclamer: I am not Kazuki Takahashi. I am a Determined FANGIRL who has a Bakura plushie and is proud of it. :p

Key: Ryou is The Dub's Bakura. Bakura is the Tomb Robber Bakura. Yami Bakura is Ryou's 'other face' or as so sweetly called by the Dub, 'The spirit of the millennium ring.' Yami Bakura is the Zok controlled soul portion of the Tomb Robber Bakura who was trapped within the MIllennium Ring 5000 years ago. Trapped can be easily translated to 'craftily put into the Millennium ring so He can claim the powers of the dark god Sokuretsukur' (note: I can't translate this to well, if you have the corect spelling please email it to me) Zok is also known as the god of darkness. 

This is true by the manga and If I am ruining anything for you, Suck's for you cause if you x out of this story now your going to miss a sucky fic. By sucky I mean really good, yup, Really, I Do. If you hate me I understand. Just don't flame me, cause I'm a Depressed person who is tired of trying to be 'cheered up.' Also on a note, This is supposed to be in a degree comedy, so in your review, please kindly tell me weither or not I should continue. If I'm not told to cont., this becomes a one shot and is added to the 'Hall of shame for really bad fics written by a really bad authoress, for example see "Rnij" on FF.net. Mysterious A is a great authoress, so just condem the stupid moron Rnij.' Okay, So yeah, Scroll down for an actual fic. And please, This is not a Yaoi and or Shounen Ai so shut up you Morons!  


------Gomenasai Minna san, Watashi wa Go me desu ka? Watashi wa Baka desu ka? Hai. Hai Hai Hai.----------

It all begin on a normal day in a normal apartment in a normal city called Domino. Everything was normal, a normal routine, a normal life all his own. Ryou had been living that way for the past year, but instead of enjoying it, quite frankly, he was going insane.

He first noticed it when he began to talk to his Mirror. He even noticed the change when it began to talk back. Heck! He was even slightly disturbed after he realised he had just dialed the Crawford residence and was waiting in a 2 hour hold with the Funny Bunny soundtrack blasted over the reciever. And when he began to hum along with the music....

(Pegasus J Crawford for those who suffer the dub, by the way, how much does the kiddiefied version make you guys a month? Durring the holidays? "Mommy mommy, I want a duel disk so I can be like Kaiba and Draw cards to fling at people and watch them get maimed by them! Mommy? Mommy?!" Oh yes, I can see it now...Oh, Gomen..)

And now, poor Ryou was sitting at his dining room table holding a conversation with himself. 

"And anyway, When I told her I liked my hair long she just haaaaad to start on her 'long hair is a rebelious action and makes us look bad speech. No, I don't think braiding it will help..."

But no one was going to answer. For you see, the demon which had inhabited Ryou's body and soul was gone. Long gone, and even at that, supposedly dead. Ryou was just having a hard time.. um, getting used to it. He wouldn't have to wait to long though, because at that very moment, 2 beings so frightful were about to knock on his very door and scare the pants off him. To bad his apartment was a couple stories up, because that was just what his Fan clubs had been waiting for.

-------Falling trough hell, or maybe this is life, does my sceptisism make it right?---------

... Wow, this is the crappiest fic I have ever written. Review please.

Contest: When Kaiba n' co were forced off thier blimp by Noah, What famous Arabic saying Did Ishtar (Yami Malik) Quote durring the rest of that epi? Winner get's to say something to our audience in this fic and also get's mentioned on my web page. And if you really wanna get all tecknical, I'll personally send my Rhetorical Seto Bear over to your house to deliver the Rhetorical prizes. The Rhetorical prizes? A couple of life sized plushies. Although if you acctually expect something, your pathetic. ^^ Have a vice day and don't forget to leave your shoes at the door.


	2. Arguements and Fan girls

Ryou, Bakura and Yami Bakura have a talk: By Rnij Rin Sera

Look! I acctually updated less than a day after uploading! Scary huh? And without reviews too! 

Disclamer: If I owned yugioh It would be hell. Literally.

------- Kon nichiwa Minna san! ~Juggler~-------

"Well?"

"Well what? You go!"

"No, you!"

"You!"

"I can't just barge in there!"

"That's because you would have to ring the door bell first"

"Door bell? Why would you need that?"

"You are pathetic, do you not know anything about this era?"

"No, the exact reason I think you should be the one to do this."

"If I did this it would make this whole thing pointless, not to mention scare the wuss to death. Not that that would be a bad thing, but I have no control over these things any more, considering I'm A FRIKING MORTAL NOW!!!"

"oooooooh... You do scare me with the yelling. Look, I'm shaking."

"Your sarcasm is pointless."

"It used to scare people back 5000 YEARS AGO you pathetic excuse for a GOD OF DARKNESS!!!!"

"Ouch, that hurt me so. Your just angry because I can fix MY hair so much better that you can yours."

"HEY! THAT's TECNICALLY MY HAIR!"

"Pfffffffffft"

"Don't pffffffffft me!!!!!!!!"

"..."

"Look, I don't like you, and you.. I don't know what you do or do not like beside the complete obliteration of the planet, But we are going to have to work together if we want to make this work."

"As long as I don't have to be 'nice' I'l do whatever.. well.. besides anything referring to 'pink' or 'cute.' Those words and there implications should all be banished to the Shadow Realm."

"You mean Hell."

"No, I mean the SHADOW REALM."

"Hell.... what tha he."

At the moment, two hooded beings were standing at Ryou's apartment door, argueing over random things which happily did not include starfish, world domination, knifes, dufflebags and the like. Of course, they weren't the only great evil lurking within the shadows near Ryou's lovely abode. Truth be told, the Fan clubs were scarier than any creature the two visiters could summon, and not just because thier overwelming 'cuteness' either. Perhaps it was the never serious visage that always held a smile or a perky little grin which, when closely inspected, was hideing fangs, or, maybe it was the cloud of perfume which worked better than any bug spray invinted. But one thing was for sure, they were getting closer...closer...

"Do you smell something?"

"..."

"DO YOU SMELL SOMETHING?"

"huh?"

"I asked if you smelt something."

"Oh, yes, I smell quite a stench, although I'm not surprised considering who I'm standing next to."

"That's not me! It smells more like a .. flowery smell."

"That weakling probably has a garden or the like around here, he would be the first on my list who would like those sort of things."

"As long as he's nothing like you, I'm quite okay with him."

"Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"That! There goes another one! And another!"

Yes, the fangirls were getting closer and closer to acheiving thier goal: Get into Ryou Bakura's House!

"ooooh.. look, some people are like, at Ryou's door!"

"Maybe there like, relatives of his?!"

"Like, Maybe?"

"Should we find out?"

"Like, yeah!"

And so they preceded to pounce on thier unknown prey, only to be thrown off and turned on.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Acctually, since you don't agree with my "Shadow Realm = Hell" thing, then you should be saying 'What the Shdow Realm are you?!'

And during this, the Fan Club meerly stood stareing at the two, thier mouths agape in awe.

"Look!" whispered one. "They have like, white hair!"

"Yeah, they like, remind me of Ryou!"

"Except, that one guy is like, tan and like, muscular.. he's such a complete hottie!"

"And that other guy looks so.. like, sinister!"

"Yeah, they must be major chick magnets! I mean..."

"Shut up Duke, we all know you aren't a girl."

(okay, so I couldn't resist...)

That's it for chapter two! Read and Review! Oh, and the contest is still on so yeah! Oh, and all those pathetic coments were made by my muse, Zok. Why he's my Muse, I'll never know.

Zok: Vice?! I sad vice?! I can't belive I F-ing said vice!!!

Rnij: um, well, anyway, Ja ne!


	3. crazed bishes and lies

Ryou, Bakura and Yami Bakura have a talk: By Rnij Rin Sera

Disclamer: ...pointless. The Fruit Cake owns this, I don't. 

Kazuki Takahashi: (whom I have much respect for) Ah Choo!

Zok: Kleenex? How about a puffs? Do you want a puffs?

Lawyer: Please sign on the dotted line. *hands Zok various documents*

Zok: *proceeds to light the various documents on fire* Pretty...

Rnij: I do not own anything regarding commercialized fodder. Oh, and Thanks for the Reviews! If I had more time on the computer I would write all your names down! 

Zok: Rnij is trying to replace me!!!

Rnij: No.. I'm just making your job easier! You see.. I have a new muse! Ken Akebono Ouishitsu! Kao for short.

Kao: Hi.Pardon me for not saying any more, but there is someone I must go kill...

Zok: eheheheh.. *runs*

Rnij: Now! start the fic! Oh, and yes, I'm doing 5000 years ago instead of three thousand, and There is some controversy over weither it's Zok or Zork. I prefer Zok but, meh.

------------Silence is the closest friend, untill you soul rejoices! Kin! A family, to love and hold, whithin your mind, your heart and soul!--------------

*WHam!!!*

"You like, dont have to knock his door down!"

"Yeah, it is like, cold out side!"

"And like, couldn't you just use a key?"

"And praytell, where would I get this 'Key'?"

"We each like, have one!"

"How did you get his... never mind."

And at this time , Ryou was sitting in his dineing room, twirling his hair *which was up in a pony tail* and talking to the biggest funny bunny fan of all time.

"And how do you get your hair so straight?! I've tried countless times and it seems I just cant do a thing with it!" "Well, it does make you look rather malevolent." "Really, you think so?" "Oh yes, have you considered acting?" "Well, yeah, but they said I wanted the Hospital down the street." "Really? Maybe they thought you acted so good you worked there?" "Mmm.. possibly, but I think they wanted to get rid of me." "No! who would want tha....

*BAM*

"What was that?!" "I.. I don't know, I think someones at the door." "Well then, I'll hang up. But call me later, Kay?" "Kay, Peggie, Sayonara!" "Sayonara to you to, Ryou kun."

"RYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"mmmmm... yes?"

"Ryou?! What have you done to your self? How could you?!"

"oooooooh.. he like, looks sooooo hot with his hair like that!!"

"... Yami?!!?!"

"Yeah, Ryou, you wimpering little scumbag. It's me."

"Um, your back."

"Yeah, well... some stupid Pharoah is not enough to take me down."

"Oh shut up!! Stop pretending Zok! I wanna meet this kid."

"Damn! Fine then Baku.. Introduce your self to the wimp."

"...Zok? Baku? Huh.. wha.."

And then, the phone rang..

"Erm..one minute..Moshi Moshi! Oh, Kobanwa Peggie kun. Oh! Really? No Way! Wow! When? oh.. buy me a ticket kay? Oh, yeah, I have company. hm, oh to bad, well. Ja ne then."

"Peggie? Oh no. not him!! PEGASUS?!?! Damn Ryou! I thought I raised you better than that!!"

"Um.. you didn't raise me at all."

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~bum bum bum!!!! *insert dramatic tensed up music here*~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-

Will Bakura ever get to meet his reincarnation? Will the fangirls acctually get thier hands on Ryou's hair care products? Will Ryou ever get to go to whatever Pegasus was buying the tickets for?! Will Zok ever wake up from the acoma Kao put him in?!?!?! 

Zok: Chicken..zZZzzZZzz... fried.. ZZzzZzZZZzzzzzZZzz

Who cares?

R&R!!!


	4. authors note: because every story needs ...

Wow, it's like, been awhile. A long, long long while.   
  
Zok: (who by now has died of neglection)   
Lets see... 1-1-04 to... 7-2-04. A little past 6 FRICKIN MONTHS!!!!  
THINK WOMAN!! EVER DO THAT?! DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ME OR SOMETHING?!?!  
  
Rnij: Well, actually...  
  
Zok: I HATE YOU!!  
  
Rnij: Shut up. Yeah, so what? 6 months is nothing! Well..okay..less then 6 people read it... So, sorry you guys. I promise that when I die, I will leave you all my homework and final exam notes that kept me from updateting.  
  
Zok: Shes lieing. I know for a fact that there were 3 things that were the main cause of her not updateing  
  
1: a boyfriend  
2: a laptop  
3: Writer's block (which coincidentally moved out Jan 2nd...)  
  
Rnij: How the hell does unfiltered interne....oh, right. Well, fine then, I might as well not even continue this POS. I can go back to eating that pumpkin pocky faster then you can say 'Slartribartfast'!!  
  
Zok: slart..ri..slartri ba...fast Aww screw it!!!   
  
Rnij: :P Well, since I have nothing better to do at looks at watch 1:47 am, then I might as well get working on another chapter...that is if I can remember what I wrote.  
  
Zok: This chapter better be 6 months better then the others.  
  
Rnij: Considering I've had 6 months of practice, hell yeah it better be. munches on pumpkin pocky Ya know Zok, You look just fine for something that has been abandoned for 6 months...why, thats enough time to have a baby!!  
  
Zok: What can you do? I just woke up from a coma yesterday...while you were asleep at 12:00 fricking PM!!  
  
Rnij: Pocky? I got whipped cream, chocolate orange, almond creme and pumpkin.  
  
Zok: Just get on with the story already!!  
  
Rnij: actually, I think this will be a nice little authors note.   
  
Zok: oh no you dont! I'm not letting you cheat the veiwers again!!!   
  
Rnij: still munching on pocky, opens a Ramune Soda I'm not changing my mind Zok  
  
Zok: Don't make me speak 1337!!!  
  
Rnij: oooooooh...I get it, your still pissed about me meeting Piro and Seraphim!!! Yeah, Fred and Sarah are really cool people. They do some awsome work on Megatokyo.  
  
Zok: wimpers  
  
Rnij: okay, I promise I will type a chapter tonight, okay? Happy?  
  
Zok: no  



	5. stupid things make an impact

-And the story continues-  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own this disclaimer, nor this laptop I type on, nor this software I'm using to type my document in, nor the subject or the subject's characters, plots or names. I do own: the aforementioned boxes of pocky, not Glico however, the current Idea and plot that is occurring in the fan fiction, not the one for the actual show, and the idea of bringing 3 white haired bishounens, 1 white haired maniac, 1 raven haired wanna-be and a large amount of Ryou-obsessed fangirls together to help the before mentioned 'Ryou' find himself. Yes, that is all me.   
  
Note: KAO died, being a one-time Zok assassin from a later time.  
  
Zok: I kiiiiiiiiiiiiiled him insane grin  
  
-end disclaimer, begin story-  
  
The setting:  
It is raining, wet, dark and cold. The cast, except for pegsy, for he was just on the phone, are in Ryou's abode, viewing an interesting site. Ryou is confused and quite startled, but also quite happy for his hair looked cute. But he was also quite confused and startled to.  
  
Ryou: could someone please explain whats going on?  
  
Duke: I believe they just did.  
  
Fangirls: Shut up! Ryou chose not to pay attention, so it never happened, alright?! Gee Duke, you sure need some fangirl lessons.  
  
Ryou: um...what are you guys talking about? Who are all of you anyway?  
  
Fangirls: umm...we are..um..  
  
poof!  
  
And so the fangirls ceased to exist because Ryou was busy not paying attention to the fact that they existed. Oh how such stupid things make an impact.  
  
Zok: (not my Zok mind you) Oh, thank you thank you thank you evil wormhole of doom and destruction!   
  
W O D A D: your quite welcome!!  
  
-resumes story-  
  
Bakura ran to Ryou, not only shocking Ryou further, but also getting Ryou quite wet.  
  
Bakura: Oh Ryou! I've waited thousands of years for this moment!!!  
  
Ryou: YAY!! your fruity too!!!  
  
Zok: gasp your not...are you?  
  
Ryou: well, actually, I haven't decided yet.  
  
Bakura: hugs Ryou no, I'm not 'you know', I just really really really wanted to see you.  
  
Ryou: and why would that be?  
  
Zok: because he's your incarnation stupid.  
  
Ryou: what? But I thought you...I...he...  
  
Bakura: somehow now sitting on the couch looking at one of Ryou's magazines  
Want me to explain? oh look, that looks tasty.  
  
Ryou: please do.  
  
Bakura: very well. I am your incarnation, He, over there, is Zok, an evil god-thing who decided to put his essence into all the millennium items, but mostly the ring. He ended up becoming a warped mix of me and himself, thus forming a dark form of me. Yami Bakura. You are my re incarnation, however he was the main power in the millennium ring, so you ended up dealing with him the whole time.   
  
Ryou: oh  
  
Zok: (or Yami Bakura) rifling through drawers oooh, fire crackers!  
  
Ryou: soooooo  
  
Bakura: and thats it!! Some how Zok and I ended up getting back together in the past, but he still looked like an evil version of you, so we figured something strange happened, because at that time there were four of us, so two of us came back here to try to fix things!!  
  
Ryou: uh huh..four of you guys...riiight. Are you sure that isn't you uncle nick? You have been trying to get me in bed for awhile now.   
  
Bakura: suddenly getting veeeery serious I was trying to be nice, and now he associates me with his queer uncle..great...get me some panty hose and lipgloss, I might as well go be a transvestite too...  
  
Zok: Don't get caught prostituting and pick me up some pocky while your out!!!  
  
Ryou: has snuck back to his dining room and his phone  
  
PEGSY HEEEEEEELP MEE!!!  
  



	6. authors note: 1 year and no update

Disclaimer: Wow, this must be what it feels like to abandon everything after a silly little convention only to have a reviewer remind you that "Hey, you wrote this you dumb shit now update" and thus having you to return to the scene a year later. Sorry. I don't hate you guys, I just….

Wow, my writing really sucked.

Zok: No fucking kidding.

Well anyway, I guess I better update this fic.

If the plot is dead, I'm sorry to see it. I might like hell go back and update it. You know, fix it up a bit.

Thanks for the reviews you guys, and thanks for reminding me about this little shit.

Oh, and pardon my French.

Zok: You don't speak French! You lie!

>please continue to the next page, thank you.


	7. Of frillyness, big sisters and headaches

"Ryou, you're crying in your Ramen." Pointed out a rather unamused former tomb robber. He was unamused because Ryou had forced him to 'just incase he really was his uncle' wear pants.

Ryou merely sniffled, taking another bite of his dinner.

The being now known as Zok sat at the head of the table, feet propped up on his plate of what could have been chicken.

It had been this way for a week.

'Damnnit! Get your feet off the table! Can't you see we're eating? This isn't how a FAMILY should function...'

And this was why Ryou was crying.

Poor Ryou. He had had a normal, well, seemingly normal life for a bit. And now… It had been taken over by … Evil spirits. Mortal seemingly normal evil spirits. That was the only explanation.

"It's Karma, it has to be…" muttered Ryou, wishing he hadn't of contemplated the things he had, and, just in case wishing didn't work, praying he had contemplated them more so he wouldn't be in the mess he was…a book mysteriously hit him in the face.

'STOP MOPING!' cried Zok, who was, at the moment, being chased by a girly looking tomb robber.

"Don't take this out on him! It's not his fault Damnnit!"

"GUYS! STOP!" a scream from Ryou and it was over.

In short, imagine the following: Yami Bakura or Zok or whatever you want, Yousei hime perhaps, was parading around Ryou's apartment wearing black jeans, black slippers, a black and white stripped shirt and his hair was back in a pony tail. He wore a scowl and was covering his head with his hands, protecting against the sink sprayer that Bakura was at the moment using to fend him off.

Bakura was wearing grey jeans, much to his distaste, and a white polo shirt that was a bit too small for his Egyptian bearings. :D He wore no shoes, rather an apron bearing the words "Single" and a bandana that worked more against him than for him.

Ryou wore a stretchy t, grey camo pants and a grey hair scrunchie. He was not happy and was holding his hand to his head in a frustrated fashion.

"You two walked in here and... your not my family. If you want to be anything, how about quiet? Oh jeeze, its getting late, I have to get ready to go.. I…" Ryou never finished his statement however, due to a door bell ringing off in the distance. "CRAP!" and with that, he ran out the door.

"Who were those two strapping young men?" asked Pegasus, twirling his hair fastidiously. Ryou merely sighed.

* * *

"I never got to finish my ramen…." He lamented, leaning against Pegasus's shoulder.

Pegasus said nothing, rather opened up his magical bag of not-being-there-ness and took out a Pink bunny plush and a tissue. "There there," he cried, handing the items to Ryou, "We'll get there together! Promise!"

Ryou was confused, but decided it would be smart to not say a word. It turned out to be a very good decision.

'Psst.. Hey you, hot stuff, are you Peggie chan's Boy?'

"Err…," replied Ryou. He didn't like the look of this.

'You must be, look at your hair! How many sane people have that hair color that are under fifty?'

"I fail to see how that has anything to do with it!" stated a proud Peggie. He towered over the man forcing him into submission with his gaze. The man scampered off.

"The concerts starting," and Pegasus ushered Ryou into the Stadium.

* * *

"You know, You didn't have to hit him in the head."

'Yes I did! Otherwise he would have never done a thing! He makes me look bad!'

"Well I'M his incarnation. I'm also the one who doesn't have their hair up in a fashion much like the accused."

Zok stiffened. 'How are we going to get through to him? If violence and yelling doesn't work, what will?'

"Maybe… we need to get more involved without being involved. You know, like family."

(badum pssh!)

Zok snarled. 'As long as I'm not the mother, I'm fine.'

"I was thinking, big brothers. We should find out more about him.. be nicer perhaps but…."

'You obviously never had an older brother.' Zok stiffened. 'Seriously.'

"Would you prefer Older sister?"

'NO! They're even worse!'

* * *

: D

Review! Sorry for the wait!

Notes: Yousei hime means fairy princess I believe. I'm kind of rusty…


End file.
